Resilience is one of the most admirable traits a person can have. Resilience is associated with flexibility, grit, and toughness. People who exude resilience can handle the ups and downs of life and manage their stress effectively. It may, therefore, seem paradoxical that resilience often starts with vulnerability, the state of deliberately opening yourself up to harm and threat.
If you’d like to feel more resilient in everyday life, leaning into your own human self may pave the path for dealing with daily life and enjoying more meaningful relationships. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind.
Get to Know Your Emotions
Building resilience comes from deeply knowing yourself. Like everyone, you are an emotional being full of your own unique ups and downs. The good news is that the more you can understand your emotions, recognize how they show up in your body, and see their role in your everyday habits, the less daunting they might feel.
Identifying emotions starts with paying attention to your internal world. Some people find it helpful to journal when they’re having a hard time- this can offer key insight into various feelings and needs. Others focus on building awareness of their somatic responses- this can look like paying attention to how your body tenses, relaxes, or even changes temperatures in response to certain feelings.
Commit to Authentic and Loving Relationships
Your capacity for building resilience may be directly related to your willingness to be vulnerable with the people you love the most. Love is easy when things are going well, but it tends to matter the most during emotional hardships. In addition, resilience research shows that resilience is connected to social support. People cope better with adversity when they can lean on others.
How does this translate into your life? Commit to being bold with the people you care about. Identify your gratitude for your relationships and cultivate love as much as possible. If you feel socially isolated, make it a priority to connect more with others. All relationships are active, and it’s important to focus on how you can consistently nurture your loved ones.
Practice Taking Vulnerability Risks
Playing it safe certainly has its benefits, especially if your life has felt chaotic or difficult to manage. However, it’s also important to consider the potential drawbacks of avoiding a risk-free life.
Both resilience and vulnerability coincide with stepping out of your comfort zone. When it comes to being more vulnerable, taking risks often looks like clearly stating your feelings and identifying boundaries with others. This can be a radical shift from default responses of people-pleasing, passive-aggression, passivity, or even hostility.
Other vulnerability risks include:
- Explicitly acknowledging mistakes that you have made in the past
- Allowing yourself to feel (rather than deny or numb) challenging emotions like shame, fear, or guilt
- Taking interpersonal chances that could potentially result in rejection
- Sharing your struggles with another person
Vulnerability, in many ways, is a vital part of human connection. People have the adaptive capacity to support one another, but impactful relationships are always built on a sense of shared vulnerability.
Practice More Radical Acceptance
The ability to tolerate distress can be one of the most important tenets of building resilience. Acceptance allows you to practice a sense of neutrality for life’s challenges. It’s a stoic approach toward managing emotions and
Acceptance does not mean liking or condoning a certain situation. Instead, it means trying to simply acknowledge such challenges for what they are. This mindset can also open space for focusing on what really is and isn’t in your control. For example, you may feel frustrated about a particular relationship in your life right now. Acceptance means understanding that you can’t control the other person. However, you can focus your efforts on your response and behaviors within the relationship.
You can start practicing more acceptance by:
- Noting when you find yourself disputing or resisting reality
- Separating what is and isn’t in your control
- Considering how life might feel different if you could genuinely accept this reality
- Allowing yourself to embrace the complex emotions associated with the situation
- Committing to finding or maintaining purpose in life amid what’s currently happening
Therapy for Emotional Resilience and Self-Esteem in Austin, TX
Vulnerability is a courageous choice, but it can be such a challenge. Certain mental health issues like unresolved trauma, depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem may make it difficult to trust others or embrace living authentically.
Therapy can offer invaluable support, introspection, and guidance for whichever struggles feel most daunting. The link between resilience and vulnerability is often explored throughout this time, and many clients find that, as they share more of themselves with another safe person, their lives change profoundly.
If you are struggling with your self-esteem, self-worth, or a certain life stressor, I would be honored to help you. As an experienced grief therapist, I also help clients cope with all stages and types of grief. Things may feel challenging right now, but you don’t have to walk through these challenges alone. Please contact me today to get started.