You sold your home, but you feel a sense of sadness, anger, regret, or confusion. These feelings can be difficult, and they can be especially surprising when people choose to sell their home to upgrade to a better space or to make a sound financial decision.
It’s important to note that selling a home can be as exciting as it is painful. Your home is the physical place of so many stored memories and relationships. No matter the circumstances, this particular milestone can be bittersweet. On the one hand, you may be looking forward to building new memories in the home of your dreams. On the other hand, you might be downsizing or adjusting to a significant life change.
The Home Selling Process Can Be Bumpy
Even if you had most of your logistical affairs in order, the actual selling process can be unquestionably stressful. Some sellers find that they don’t agree with the home’s fair market value, or they might experience anxiety over buyers moving in and out of escrow. If it took some time for your home to sell, the waiting can also be stressful.
Furthermore, if you’re buying a new place, that brings forth a whole new set of complex emotions. Finding the right location and ensuring the home has what you need within your budget can feel like an incredibly daunting task. The affairs become even more complicated if you’re on a short timeline or if this process coincides with unexpected grief.
Your Home Contained Invaluable Memories
No matter how long you lived in your home, it holds infinite stories. All your personal items carry a sense of meaning, and every room tells a tale about who you are and what feelings you experienced at a different phase in your life.
Maybe your kitchen represents all the nights you spent cooking dinner for your family. The garage might be the place where you stored your child’s sports equipment, bringing up memories of all the weekends you spent attending their games. Packing up old bedrooms can cause you to reminisce about the people and late pets who once lived with you.
This process can often best be described as bittersweet. Even if some of you may feel numb, you may also be nostalgic for certain parts of your past and worried about what’s to come.
Selling Your Home Can Coincide With Unwanted Changes
Selling a home is sometimes part of a grieving process. For example, people often move after a divorce, losing a spouse, becoming empty nesters, or relocating to a new job. While moving can sometimes be exciting, it’s far more ambivalent and even upsetting if you feel attached to your old home- or if you feel rushed to move without really wanting to do so.
It’s important to honor whatever emotional rollercoaster you find yourself experiencing. Even though your home is an inanimate object, your physical space represents a part of who you are. That said, it may be comforting to remember that, even amid grief, most people find they can settle into their new home within a few months.
Downsizing Can Bring Mixed Emotions
While downsizing to a smaller home has its clear advantages, having to make this choice can also feel upsetting. If you’re moving on from the family home or a childhood home, you might feel depressed to say goodbye and close that physical chapter of your life.
These feelings of grief are typical. Leaving a community, parting with old belongings, and saying goodbye to the place that stored so many memories can feel quite sad. Instead of trying to dismiss or rush these emotions, try accepting them for what they are. Emotions are not bad or wrong, and allowing yourself to embrace your experiences is one of the most meaningful actions toward greater self-compassion.
You May Be Experiencing Buyer’s Remorse
Research shows that up to 93% of recent homebuyers experience some regret after making their new purchase. There is no doubt that the toll of a home sale is as emotional.
You might experience buyer’s remorse if you believe you overpaid for your new home or end up having to spend more on home improvement than you originally intended. You might also experience it if you find it hard to make new friends or connect to your new neighbors or neighborhood. Some remorse may be inevitable, but chronic remorse may speak to an undertone of grief, depression, or fears about what the future holds.
Grief and Transitional Life Support Therapy in Austin, TX
The tender time after a home sale can be tumultuous. While no two people grieve the same way, many homeowners experience a sense of loss after moving away from a beloved home. You are not alone in how you feel- we are connected to physical places, and while moving into your current home can also be exciting, it’s important to honor your grief for what it is.
As a grief therapist, I specialize in supporting people navigating all forms of loss. If you’re struggling with this transition, I am here to offer space and compassion for moving through this time.
Contact me today to schedule an initial consultation.