Nostalgia and grief often go hand-in-hand, as both can entail a sentimental longing over a significant loss. Nostalgia is a specific social emotion that refers to experiencing affection for the past. Stronger nostalgia often coincides with a desire to relive or reconnect to those older experiences.
When it comes to grief, nostalgia can sometimes act as a source of comfort. Other times, however, it may come with its own set of negative feelings, particularly in cases of more complicated grief or bereavement overload. That said, it is possible to channel your nostalgia to augment your grief healing.
The Role of Nostalgia With Grief
Nostalgia is a bittersweet emotion that mixes both pleasure and sadness. There can be a sense of aching that comes with nostalgia, especially when that nostalgia is inherently directed toward the person you lost. For instance, you might feel nostalgic for the specific way your mother cooked dinner. Or you might experience nostalgia for your late husband mowing the lawn when you smell freshly mowed grass.
Nostalgic feelings are rooted in our own humanness, and they speak to the richness of the relationships we share with our family, friends, and loved ones. Research also shows that nostalgia can counteract feelings of loneliness and anxiety, particularly when personal nostalgia is shared with others. It may also cultivate a deeper sense of meaning.
In many ways, it’s likely that nostalgia is an inevitable part of the grief process. Loss can be so painful, and when it happens, it’s normal for daily reminders to exacerbate intense emotion.
What Triggers Nostalgia?
You can experience nostalgia at any point in the grief process. Simply looking at old photo albums and reminiscing over joyous memories can coincide with nostalgia. But it can also be evoked through any sensory cue, from certain smells to beloved tastes to familiar sights.
Some nostalgia comes with positive emotions. For instance, if your loved one enjoyed rainbows, you might experience a wave of happiness when you randomly see a rainbow on your commute. You think fondly about the memories you shared together. But it can also stir negative emotions. That same rainbow can be a painful reminder of your loss, sending you into a deeper spiral of anger or guilt over what happened.
Nostalgia and Depression
Although it’s not a formal term, nostalgic depression may occur when you persistently long for the past. It also coexists with a continuous dissatisfaction with the present moment. Sometimes this leads to glamorizing past life events and rumination about regret.
People with preexisting histories of depression may be more apt to experience nostalgic depression. Similarly, this complex state may emerge in response to other significant changes or difficulties.
It’s important to remember that grief itself is not problematic, and feeling sad or angry does not inherently mean you have depression. Life can be very hard after a loss, and symptoms of grief can certainly resemble those of other mental health conditions. However, if things feel like they’re continuously worsening, it may be a sign to reach out for more support.
How to Embrace Nostalgia With Your Grief
Research shows that nostalgia may make you feel warm because it literally raises your body temperature. Studies have found that people who experience nostalgia on colder days indicate feeling warmer than the weather suggests.
Furthermore, people who experience nostalgia may be more likely to healthily cope with life transitions and loss. That’s because nostalgia provides this elusive reminder that love, memories, and connection transcend life or death. They do not disappear once someone is gone.
Embracing nostalgia with others can also be an important part of the grief process. Sharing past memories with others can be an important way to stay connected. If possible, make it a point to trade meaningful stories with friend and family. Likewise, leaning into other people’s nostalgia may teach you parts about your loved one that you otherwise wouldn’t have known.
Finally, engaging in creative expression can be a helpful way to harness your nostalgia. This could look like journaling about some of your favorite parts of your relationship, making a piece of art that honors your loved one, or scrapbooking that vacation you took together. These concrete tokens of nostalgia can also be a significant part of grief work.
Grief Therapy for Loss and Nostalgia
Nostalgic memories can be bittersweet, but nostalgia can sometimes exacerbate emotional distress, trigger anxiety, or impact your overall well-being. Amid grief, it’s normal to feel sad, guilty, angry, and all kinds of intense emotions. But if you feel stuck in your process or are struggling with depression, therapy can provide you with valuable support. You don’t have to walk through grief alone. Regardless of your specific grief struggles, I would be honored to offer you guidance and compassion during this time.
I welcome you to contact me today to schedule an initial consultation.